In Conversation with Elly Walters - Part I

Fiona McNally and Anna Cutler

Elly Walters graduated with a BA in MML (French) in July 2020. She is now reading for an MSt in Women's Studies at Wadham College, Oxford.

PART I

Could you tell us a bit about your time in Cambridge and your experience as an undergrad? What led you to choose MML?

Elly: I matriculated in 2016 and started off with post-A Level French and Spanish. I’m a first-generation student, and I had a wonderful Spanish teacher at school who really encouraged me to apply for MML. In my first year at Cambridge, it took me a long time to figure out what I was meant to be doing; I didn’t understand the difference between a commentary and an essay, I had no idea what close reading was. Writing Long Essays in second year helped me a lot to understand what exactly I was supposed to aim for in terms of building arguments and using literary criticism. I enjoyed the course a lot, but the stress is real, even once you’ve found your feet. I really appreciated that we could select our scheduled papers from Part IB onwards and I was always grateful for opportunities to do coursework in place of exams. My view of Cambridge is very rosy and sentimental, I loved living there and found the city so beautiful and magical. I feel so grateful to have been part of the MML community, which is full of so many brilliant and inspiring people.

Fiona: Yes! What you say about first year definitely rings true for me. When I look back now, I had no idea what I was doing at all. 

Anna: At some point that lightbulb moment comes and, like you said Elly, you think: ‘Oh, this is what I actually should try to be producing’.

Elly: Another thing that I took a while to realise is that writing essays in the daytime isn’t impossible. It seems to be common practice that as undergrads we stay up all night to finish work and then spend a week recovering before we do it again. After several years of black coffee and eyebags, I learnt that ruling out all-nighters was a big act of self-care and self-love.

From your time as a part of the feminist society at Magdalene, what changes did you see or even help to implement whilst you were involved?

Elly: My involvement in the Feminist Society was mainly in second year, I wasn’t very aware of feminism when I matriculated. If you’d told first-year me that I was going to do a Master’s in Women's Studies, my first question would’ve been, ‘...what on earth is that?’. My first real engagement with feminism was through a seminar series on Feminist Theory led by the wonderful Libe García Zarranz at Magdalene in 2017. I also learnt a lot from listening to The Guilty Feminist podcast, which inspired me to get more involved with Magdalene’s FemSoc. It used to be called Magdaladies, which we eventually changed to make it more inclusive. It’s a cute name, but our argument was that it seemed to exclude by gender and class (at the very least), which defeats the point of having a Feminist Society.

Anna: It’s inspiring that you took the initiative to make it as inclusive as possible, I think that is a really important thing.

Fiona: I think that’s so impressive because, in my opinion, whether you want to join a society is kind of based on the name, isn't it?

Credit: Elly Walters

Cambridge, as we’ve mentioned, is a stressful place with quite an intense workload. How did you manage to juggle your degree and all these other activities so well?

Elly: I wouldn't say I always managed them well… I definitely struggled in first and second year to balance work and time with friends. Especially with the Year Abroad looming, my best friend and I (both MMLers) wanted to make the most of our time left in Cambridge with our (non-MML, but equally lovely) friends. Relatively speaking, I struggled less with workload in fourth year. I found there was more flexibility with booking supervisions, which meant I wasn’t hit by fortnightly waves of essay stress. Also, I found in fourth year that reading ‘for fun’ helped to take my mind somewhere else and let myself rest. I read Margaret Atwood’s The Testaments shortly after it came out and commented in an article for Student Minds that ‘Gilead is not the place to worry about an unwritten essay’. I made a reading spot in my room by putting some cushions against the radiator, and spent so many evenings roaming the Oxfam bookshop and Waterstones. As well as finding this time to unwind and clear my head, I tried to keep a better eye on my sleeping and eating. It’s easier said than done – I still struggle with it, particularly when I’m stressed out or run-down – but the best way I’ve found to keep my energy levels and spirits up is to sleep and eat well. I return again and again to this quote, which always helps me return to this idea in the face of essay deadlines and disasters:

Credit: @Lin_Manuel on Twitter

Fiona: It sounds so simple, but they're the first two things to slip with every Cambridge student I think, especially sleep. And as for the reading, it's funny because Anna and I have had this conversation. We just can't dissociate reading another book from doing work. But I feel like I should try it now!

Elly: To be fair, the books I pick up are often linked to my research in some way. So, in a sad capitalist sense, it is usually ‘productive’ reading. I always read with a pencil in my hand because annotating has become part of reading for me (if writing ‘omg’ or ‘!!!’ counts as annotating). I think there’s a lot to be said for ‘productive’ or fulfilling activities that can be done wrapped in blankets. I found a lot of joy in the MML Library’s DVD collection – watching a film every so often helped with my comparative literature/film papers, and also meant I could sit calmly in the dark for a few hours. I don’t want to suggest that our lives always have to be productive, or that productive activities are the only valuable ones, but in Cambridge you can feel a lot of guilt for not working twelve hours a day. And of course, working ‘productively’ for twelve hours a day is not humanly possible. My body gets tired and hungry and restless after two hours, let alone twelve. A kind person said to me the other day, ‘If you are asking too much of yourself, please ask less’.

Fiona: I think one of the massive problems in Cambridge is that people do struggle to get away from work. It's either working all the time or some other unhealthy balance. So your advice is really good I think because you're incorporating relaxation, but simultaneously, reassuring yourself. It’s okay to have a break, but then also this could be useful, potentially. That's really nice.

Elly: I do find that I need to keep my mind moving for my own mental health. Over lockdown I’ve also jumped on the creativity bandwagon and it’s been so delightful. I’m currently working through a beginner’s embroidery kit. If anything, I really recommend getting a colouring book and some nice pencils or even watercolours.

Anna: I think it's important that you're showing work doesn't have to be stressful. Work can be also relaxing; it doesn't have to be sitting in front of a computer stressing about an essay.

We want to say congratulations on your incredible results, and general achievements as well as academic ones. What would be your advice for coping with the online program now and online exams? Did you actually prefer having the exams online? 

Elly: Definitely, I was so grateful for the online format. I still don't understand how to ‘do well’ in a three-hour exam with three postcard essays. I found that the online exams offered a good opportunity to show research potential, and to put four years of training into practice. With regards to coping with online learning, I’ll get back to you on that... I’m very much still stumbling my way through term. My main focuses have been trying to keep a routine and stave off feelings of isolation. Over lockdown, I’ve tried to stick to some general ‘rules’ or intentions for myself, with varying degrees of success. Some of these are: Try not to wear pyjamas everyday. Put some shoes on and go for a walk. Facetime friends often. Work on finding a not-screen-based hobby. Try to stick to established mealtimes and bedtimes. Remember that social media thrives on your vulnerability. Try to notice when you’re overthinking things. Speak to someone if you’re struggling (they’ll be glad you did, and so will you!).

Elly handing in her final year dissertation.

Credit: Elly Walters

You've been commended for your inclusive work in and out of Cambridge, which is amazing. Which inclusivity issues have struck you the most from your time in Oxbridge? 

Elly: You don't need me to tell you this, but institutional racism and ableism are deep-seated not just in the University, but everywhere. There are many wonderful people doing wonderful Access work, going into schools and affirming to BME pupils, disabled students, and those from socially and economically disadvantaged backgrounds that they have every right to be at Oxbridge. But along with that, we have to make space for minority students in Colleges and curriculums alike. The recent announcement for a Foundation Year is one step, as is the University’s new Black Alumni Network. There are many mentoring schemes and outreach programmes led by outstanding staff and students, like CambTweet for instance, that work to foster key relationships between the University and prospective applicants. 

Fiona: I think you've raised some really great points. Although none of us are experts on it, obviously the more people who apply and are accepted, the more diverse Cambridge gets!

Click here to read Part II!